Great News for Two Weary Families

Two precious babies in Vietnamese orphanages caught in the middle of a government disagreement over semantics and rule enforcement (of rules that don't exist) have been cleared to reunite with their adoptive families again!! I am absolutely thrilled for these families, but incredibly upset that any of this had to happen at all.

The Vietnamese government granted the adoptions many months ago. These families were prepared to bring their babies home with them at that point. Imagine what they must have felt when they had to leave their new babies 5,000 miles away, and not know whether they would ever see them again.

Our U.S. Embassy personnel in Vietnam has been holding the babies' Visas hostage to conduct "further investigation". Just so you know, NO further investigation was ever done. There was never ANY evidence or even a real possibility of any suspicious dealings regarding these adoptions. Not one bit. Every step of this process was documented. Every rule was followed. These babies were just like hundreds of others adopted from Vietnam last year, with the same sets of circumstances and loving parents wanting to take them home.

Tragically, there is no accountability to the families waiting or the babies who have been in an orphanage for SIX MONTHS longer than they should have been. There is no way to replace what they have lost, what they have missed. All that time their mommies and daddies and big brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents could have been caring for them and loving them is lost forever. And no one will admit that a international tug-of-war fueled by huge egos in our government is to blame.

I hope these people in OUR embassy, paid by OUR taxes to support U.S. citizens and their families are proud of themselves for the job they have done. The damage tthey have caused the families is permanent. The cost to the children is immeasurable.

I wish these 2 families all the peace and joy they deserve. I wish for them a safe journey and an unforgettable reunion with the children they were forced to leave behind.

None of this was necessary, most of it was cruel. I am sending letters to my congressional representatives today regarding our own issues and experience with the process. I invite anyone out there to do the same. There is a link on the right side called bringourchildrenhome.org with lots of helpful information and sample letters.

Rhino Virus Update

Here's the latest news on the Rhino Virus -- it doesn't look like much progress has been made in the treatment or diagnosis. Let's just pray it quits spreading through the orphanages. Those children are going through enough!

http://vietnamnews.vnagency.com.vn/showarticle.php?num=02HEA260208

A little sensitivity, please

A second child and the end to my free time....it has been mentioned that with the arrival of the second child, my life as i know it will cease to exist.

First of all, what free time? It has obviously escaped notice that I am raising a son, running a business, running a household, representing children of all ages, fighting 3 governments simultaneously, and trying to do it all reasonably well.

Second. I would give ANYTHING to have many parts of my life as i know it cease to exist. I would give anything, especially my free time, to have had my second child 2 years and 8 months ago. I would give anything, especially my free time, to not have debilitating panic attacks and the bouts of depression that I brought home instead of my baby girl. Yes, they make me hibernate and avoid everyone. But I'm not napping, people. I'm escaping. I would give anything to have that second child right now, regardless of the "inconvenience" it is somehow going to bring to my life. I WANT the problems that come with the logistics of more than one child. i WANT to race from tball to dance to soccer and back again. i WANT the craziness, I would revel in such craziness and be grateful for it every day.

And third. Inferring that my life is so good right now because of the lack of two living children at home hurts my feelings. And those of you who know me should know that. Please stop.

Mad Season

I wish I had some good news to report. The latest thing is that a lot of babies in the northern provinces of Vietnam have been infected with a very bad rhino virus. If you look further down in the blog, the latest pictures of Kamryn show a little girl with a pretty bad cold. Luckily for her (and us) that's all it was. 2 children have died from this virus while waiting for their families.

The cold and rainy season has lasted WAY longer than usual in Vietnam this year. According to our agency reps, temps usually start rising in January. Here it is almost March, and they've just been hit with a really strong cold front again. Some of the orphanages do not have heat, some just don't have sufficient heat. Many of these same orphanages do not have adequate cooling systems for the tropical summer months.

When I'm asked why I just don't adopt "one from here", more and more I'm inferring that at least here in the U.S., children don't grow up in orphanages. Even with it's flaws, and believe me, I have a laundry list, parentless children still have a HOME, a "family". We don't subject our children to orphanages and the perils of institutionalized care. Foster children here have adequate heating and cooling, an endless supply of ready-to-drink water, enough formula, enough food, adequate shelter. That is not the case in developing countries.

Some think that we feel we're "saving" a child...to follow that line of thinking, which i don't, foster children here are not in as much need of saving, in my opinion. It's just my opinion, though. My ready answer as to "why (fill in country here)" is that "that's where my daughter is". It's that simple.

There is a NY Times article highlighting the VN adoption challenges faced by some of the families stuck in the middle of it all. Here's a link: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/11/us/11adopt.html?ex=1203397200&en=4d87ecbf081a3e53&ei=5070&emc=eta1

Our girls will come to us in exactly the right time for our family. I just have to keep saying that and believing it. My needs and wishes about my family clearly are NOT within my control....and I have to stop obsessing to be able to fully appreciate the greatness of my family as it exists today.

I have been waiting for years for it to be "complete". but the truth is that the family was complete before we even had our first child. My husband and I completed our family when we got married. And for now, our first (miracle) child does complete us (sorry, Jerry Maquire), to say otherwise would be to diminish who he is in our hearts. It would be cheating him to say he wasn't enough for us.

They will come home. I cannot doubt it or question it or explain it. It just is.

China update

At last count, we have waited about 20 months since our China LID for Keira's referral. The latest projected referral date for her is July 2009. I'm thinking if we complete our family in this decade, that would be nice.

The wheels of the CCAA just keep turning, though they seem to have lost a lot of tread and need a rotation and alignment check. No one knows what goes on in the epicenter of Chinese adoption. The government is incredibly secretive, which makes the whole thing seem ever more mysterious than it probably is.

However, stacks and stacks of parents' approved files (like ours) have been sitting there collecting dust. Each one of those file represents a child and an entire family just waiting, with no power to do anything about it. For us it means that though life goes on while we wait, there is always a part of us that's not quite present or complete. Our hearts just ache. And though we can get through the day-to-day quite well to the untrained eye, sometimes it's just too much. All three of us have moments of frustration, anger, sadness and total confusion about why this is taking so long. I think it's hardest on Connor. He's been waiting for a baby sister since 2004. He was just a baby himself when Emma died, but like for all of us, she made an impression on his soul. And now that he's "almost a grown up", explaining all of this is very complicated.

Ah, well...such is parenthood, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

No updates, but new pictures!

She's amazing! I'm in awe of how much she is growing and developing. She's standing on her own!! I can't believe it.
There are a lot of babies in this room. some are standing, perhaps walking...all seem to be well cared for and kept warm! I'm counting no less than 4 layers. And that blue coat is too cute. I do wish she had some socks on...

It's hard to watch her grow up on my laptop. Every day means potentially one less milestone I'll get to witness in person. But she has a lifetime left. We really hope that she'll be home with us before her first birthday. When we first saw her picture, we had no doubt that would be the case. But international situations change daily. It's hard enough to follow our own government's progress (?), let alone another country's.

Connor went on a field trip to the Post Office at DFW Airport today, where they gave him a bag-full of souvenirs, including a surgical mask (for Anthrax?) and his very own Postal Employee Helper ID Badge. They also got the opportunity to welcome home some U.S. Soldiers at the airport. He loved this, and was thrilled that he got to shake so many "hero hands".